Reply To: A Solution: Finding Shidduchim (aka “Shidduch Crisis”)

You have a right to disagree. You can even think the idea is ridiculous. But no need for name calling which is childish. Logical points can be debated but disagreeing with someone’s idea does not make the other a troll.

For those that live on another planet let me inform you:

In Lakewood and to some extent in other places, the Rabbonim came out with a ruling that until EACH child is placed in a school, no school can open. Some think that is ridiculous, but it helped the spilling of innocent blood of children that were left out of schools.

Someone said, well, if so, let’s not let the sick out of hospitals until all the sick are healed – I am sure you can come up with a nafka mina and if not, “host a kasha”. Someone said, some people need to get married late in life – good point…in my original suggestion I already opened the door for exceptions, but such modifications does not “kill” the idea..

Maybe the suggestion needs modification or toned down (like each chosson and kallah have a chiyuv to help make at least one other shidduch in order to be zocheh to have a Rov be mesader kiddushin for them…), but the point is, to be “eimo onochi b’tzara” – that every chosson and kallah cannot sit in blissful joy on cloud nine while knowing that their classmates are b’tzara. WHile spending hundreds of hours planning the menus and music for the wedding, spend a feww hours making a shidduch as a ho’doah (- call it a Korbon Todah).

Is that ridiculous?! Is arvus (kol yisroel areivim zeh la’zeh) silly?! Is ahavas yisroel only theoretical but totally impractical?!

“Im kesef talveh ess ha’oni imach” (P’ Mishpotim) “the poor among you” – Rashi: “hevei mistakel b’atzmecha k’ilu ata oni” (when dealing with poor, view yourself as if you were poor and treat the other accordingly). Is that the words of a troll c”v? The chosson kallah are “rich” in simcha, let them loan time and energy to help their fellow “poor” that lack in the simcha that they are enjoying!

Yes, we live in a self-centered world, where the Anochi is not Hashem but ourselves. Ani ess nafshi hitzalti – I took care of myself THAT is TROLL THINKING.

“Hashomer achi anochi” (am I my bother’s keeper) were the words of a rotayach (murdered)! Indeed, shomer achi anochi – I actually AM my brother”s keeper and have an achrayus for him and her.

Chessed doesn’t start and end with making oneself feel good (I, the great anochi, helped someone – I feel so good). Chessed is when it is hard and even hurts, when it is inconvenient and even if it delays my own simcha…that is the true “anochi”, to cleave to the ways of Hashem.

The mehalech of “no one till everyone” was implemented by great rabbonim (who took a leadership stand – rather then hide behind their seforim) and it alleviated to a great extent the problem with schooling in Lakewood and other places. IT WORKERD! (I am sure there were and still are many nay sayers screaming that it is ridicuylous, unfair, trolls…but you can’t argue with success).

All I am saying, (and for suggesting it you can call me a troll ior ridiculous f you wish – I am mochel), why not implement such a takana in shidduchim?!

Yes, it is radical, yes it is unprecedented, yes it makes me and you uncomfortable – but that is chessed – doing for someone else.