Reply To: A Solution: Finding Shidduchim (aka “Shidduch Crisis”)

Recently, various kehillos made useful “takonos” for weddings (and other simchas). Specifically, limiting the size of guests (plus assorted other limitations).

I am sure if such takonas would be suggested here, many would say, “Ridiculous!”, “A troll!!”, “They will seek other venues”, “Why not make such takonas on types of cars, housing etc” , “It won’t work because of xyz (fill in blank)” etc.

I am sure many of you can ask strong kashas on these takonos, e.g. what if my immediate family is 600 people, how can I make a wedding with only x number of guests?! what if I am in the jewlery business and it is cheaper for me to give xyz then the trinkets?! Isn’t it hypocritical to limit weddings when people go to pessach resorts and THAT creates social pressure?!
Yes, you can ask a million kashas, but I was taught in seminary a klal: A MILLION KASHAS DOES NOT CHANGE A MITZIYOUS (facts).

So guess what? To some extent, not only did it work but it was embraced by those communities! And as a bonus, it is being imitated by other communities (with modifications or alternative approaches, e.g “wedding packages” etc)

I presented an idea, it could be modified, it could be altered, but it has the workings of a solution. The principle is actually quite simple: The tzibbur helping the yochid. (Is that ridiculous?! Maybe, but that is how Jews are taught to behave). The implementation is by way of a takona – which btw takonas were used since ancient history, imposing monetary dues on the klal, imposing standards of behaviour and other takanos.

As an Am novon v’chochom, the brightest of you can apply your wisdom to adjust, modify my suggestion, or even suggest a new idea. The intellectually challenged ones that simply say, “That’s ludicrous” (without adding a rational explanation or offering an alternative better suggestion).

Simply to brush off my idea (which is totally workable if modified) indicates that you have no positive feedback. Far better that you remain silent, because by shlogging or namecalling, you do worse then just announcing your intellectual deficiency, because you imply that you either don’t care or have given up on the problem.