We are judged by the only ONE who can judge, by our context in life, by the opportunities and challenges, but our starting point and our journey. Most importantly, you have a Father with a capital letter who loves you, who yearns for the good you bring to the world. I’m not a Chabadnik, but if you have concerns about being a rasha, I recommend learning some Tanya. Most of us are beinonim. We are in the middle, we have our battles, we lose many of them, and we lose sight of the one’s we win.
At the same time, if you find that you are hard on yourself or negative about your lot in life, you may have some anxiety or depression. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, and getting help will help you immeasurably. Find a qualified, licensed professional, do the hard work in therapy, and your life will change.
You are not a rasha. The very fact that you feel bad, that you have charata means that you have a powerful inner strength.