I read through the thread…can’t say I read every single post but it was a long read. Sad story but please never give up.
One thing that I couldn’t help but notice though…he was described by the things he did or didn’t do. He wore jeans, didn’t keep Shabbos, etc. But really missing was the sense of his connection to Hashem. The love for Hashem for giving us the ability to see, hear and smell, the gift of just being alive. The awe of Hashem for the management of the entire universe, from the largest galaxies to the tiniest sub atomic particles at every second. This sense of appreciation for everything Hashem does seemed to be missing and I couldn’t understand why not.