Reply To: Working boy in Shidduchim

First off thank you to all for your well wishes, I’m married for a year now, but just got triggered because of a conversation.
Syog lchochma: to answer your first question about what makes these girls less frum than me I’ll say it’s based on their overall attitude towards yiddishkeit (i.e. like those ppl that go on vacation to Miami and leave their yiddishkeit in Brooklyn. By yiddishkeit I mean a couple inches of material. Or their lack of respect to rabbonim, always thinking they know better. Even if that is true there’s a way of expressing it in a respectful manner).
As for your second comment about movies being a voluntary exposure to pritzus, etc, that may be true, but that’s not the point. I know many guys that are ok with watching movies and listen to music they would be embarrassed if their mother heard, but since they are in kollel for a few years it’s suddenly ok.
As for myself, yes I definitely have room to grow, and if I was perfect I would be sensitive to watching movies if a woman had short sleeves in it. Unfortunately in the world that we live in I see a lot worse on a daily basis so I don’t even realize it. I won’t watch a movie with much worse than what you see on a daily basis (besides, practically speaking who has time for movies? Last movie I watched was almost a year ago…) But yes, you’re definitely correct that I’m not perfect. But I’d like to think I’m on par with the average guy in yeshiva. (I was told many times that if I was in yeshiva full time with a plan on staying for a year or two the girls would break the door down, but I decided to wait for the girl that would accept me the way that I am, and I thank God I didn’t change my life plans).