The reason why men go after women and not the other way around (darkoy shel ish lachzor acharei haisha) and as is clearly seen is because a man is a mashpia and a women is a mekabel and therefore a women’s role is more passive while a man’s role is more active, and as a result of this difference of mekabel and mashpia comes many differences in character between men and women, a women is only truly happy in the relationship if she feels that the Male is a true mashpia, and so to for the man, this doesn’t mean that the women is inferior they are just different, the husband isn’t supposed to force her to do anything, rather he is supposed to act in a way that his wife will want to listen to him, a couple once got into a slight disagreement in front of the lubavitcher rebbe zatzal and the husband told the rebbe, isn’t she supposed to listen to me, the rebbe replied your supposed to act in a way that makes her want to listen to u, rabbi manis Friedman speaks about this alot.
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