What I believe is most important to address in relation to this matter is the maxim that “you should not embarrass your fellow in public” since bringing the blood to the face of your fellow is likened to spilling blood.
The modern saying “I could have died!” attests to this ancient maxim.
For example, on Simchah Torah as a fellow was departing the Bima, I overheard the Rabbi gently and quietly say to him “may you merit to have children by next year”.
He didn’t blurt it out for the whole congregation to hear so therefore it was relatively acceptable. Having said that I now know that this gentleman and his wife are probably experiencing fertility problems and since I am not amongst their circle of intimate friends I assume that they might have be uncomfortable having that information “out there”.
In relation to CG1994 comment, there is no information to support his or her assertion and so this illustrates the genesis of lashon hara. For example, a married couple born to wealthy families may well have nanny’s and all sorts of family support including subsidised income. The wife might not need to work and in fact they may have been well provided for from before the time that their marriage was arranged for them and everything handed to them on a silver platter.
The single woman who CG1994 addresses clearly has to work for herself and has not been given a head start. Do you think she does nothing in her spare time? Perhaps she looks after a sick parent, her siblings or friends children, or actively attends women’s groups and shiurim. What gives CG1994 the right to jump to the conclusion that this single lady can be expected to drop her commitments?
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