a couple of points ; w/o knowing any backround to your story ( but that never stops us in the coffee room from commenting)
1. if there are no kids yet & no big bank accounts – & you both really are done – than its very straight foward basicly whoever keeps the apt pays the rent, gifts/jewlery go back , cc bills ?? promise not to bad mouth each other be mentchlich to the shver and get it done ( you have rav herbst , rav bick , rabbi bergman, rav alt…)
2. if even one of you is not really ready to end it . than you got to REALLY REALLY understand the ramifications of a get- numerous friends of yours can tell you that they had a “hell” of a shana rishona & now 10 years later laugh & love at their dumb beginnings. there is a big feeling of relief immediately following a get .. yet when yom tov kicks in and you are lighting menorah alone in a basement its rough , very rough ? rav miller zatzl used to say that the bas kol that says bas ploni leploni is everyday hashem tells each of us ” this one is FOR YOU” ( it doesnt mean that YOU dont have a valid unlivable situation)
3. if the other side has hired a bulldog toen than its going to be ugly and you need to protect yourself.
4. flatbush has many wise ,erliche & capable rabonim & many older ones who have time & experience that can help you before during & after for free – you are better off not bothering the famous ones as they are overloaded (rav meir schenberg,, tenke rav friedman
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