A persons actions are the fruit of his thoughts which are the fruit of his outlook. The only real way to CHANGE your middos is through learning the right way to act and the severity of these matters “torah meivi’ah…”
However before we reach the stage of actual change there are some tips for control. By far the best thing to accustom oneself is, do not act when under intense motivation, anger, lust, or whatever. At that time train yourself to be calm, acting while under the influence, when your emotions are inflamed is a recipe for failure.
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