Rightwriter – same as before. You have had bad experience, you perceive the girls underlying reasons and you go and apply it to a whole group. If I wanted to apply my personal experiences I could do that too. But the fact remains that it goes both ways.
I know girls who are afraid to commit, who are afraid to put aside the place in life they have earned for themselves and it is unfortunate, they do seem to turn boys away for the wrong reasons.
When a guy claims he is being turned down because he ‘missed minyan once or twice’, usually he misses a lot more than that but would rather not face it. It’s human nature. So the “reasons” that they think the girl gives looks petty to he who would rather not face them. Also human nature. Few people will admit even to close friends that the girl found some serious painful trends in his dvaykus and cut off the shidduch.
Expecting perfection? That has been more of a guy issue from all I have seen (tho I will assume it all goes both ways). I have seen girls end shidduchim for the reasons above, even when I personally might have thought they could have discussed it (info I am getting from the shadchan of male family friends, so I know these guys). But the guys have been the ones to say “Nope” from the resume or picture. I have yet to get any questions from the girls side that make me blush as I have from the guys side. (Again, I assume it goes both ways)
The OP in this thread doesn’t want to know why he can’t find a good shidduch, he wants to know why a cookie cutter BY girl doesn’t want him. If you remove bias and think about the question you will realize it’s ridiculous. And the ongoing rants against single females here is either just what he was looking for, or not, but isn’t fair to people who are being misrepresented or who are buying in to the fiction. This thread is a serious and damaging badmouthing of people who are already suffering from the mouths of the communities they live in.