Reply To: chesed v. ruchniyus

For those who are quick to say that chessed trumps ruchniyus – consider the following scenario: A lady asks to eat by you (a Shabbos or yom tov seuda) and insists on coming there inappropriately dressed (sleeveless) and sitting that way in front of your yeshiva bachurim sons. Would you allow this? Or would you demand that she modify her attire or refuse to invite her next time?

Or someone asks you to come to a minyan that davens extremely fast and you are unable to keep pace even if you come early and it is a really frustrating experience that they are swallowing words and you would rather daven somewhere else? Would you agree to go there? What about some “rebbe” who davens extremely slowly and now you are stuck there because you are # 10? Even if you would agree to go to such places, are you obligated to?