n0mesorah,
“Torah is studied” – for sure
“The question is how do I approach what I do not understand” – I don’t think we disagree about this, either. If I understand correctly, we both agree that Divrei Chazal should be accorded the utmost respect, and when we don’t understand something, we recognize that it is our own shortcoming, not a flaw in Divrei Chazal, whose greatness is incomprehensible to us.
“We seem to agree that we accept what is uncomfortable to us” – Insofar as the fact of the discomfort is not, in and of itself, a logical reason not to accept it.
Our debate is about whether the Divrei Chazal in Midrashim (and perhaps Agadeta Gemaros) has the status of being part of the immutable Torah Shebaal Peh that Moshe Rabbeinu received at Har Sinai. According to those who hold the negative opinion, we are permitted to disbelieve these Divrei Chazal, though we do so at our own peril. (I personally think that any Ma’amar Chazal which seems incredible in the literal sense presumably was intended to teach a lesson, discernable though the lesson may be to me as yet).
Did I get that right?