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dear nomesora,
I’ll address what you consider the root of our disagreement in number 3.
many times we look at a meztius in front of us and need the lenses of halacha to tell us what sort of mestius it is. no one is creating anything, we are just trying to determine if the ten people constitute a tzibbur or are they not metzuraf and we are looking at ten yechidim. in this situation there is a machlokes as to what metzius we are looking at, which lead to a nidon of when the proper thing is to follow the machmirim and when the proper thing to do is follow the meikilim. For that we consult our with manhigim.
4) if u have genuine halachik basis for something I don’t know why youd feel threatened by backlash that claim to have halachick basis to argue, asking shaylas is part of life.
my general motivation in this conversation was to try to help by giving over the das torah I was hearing on this topic and I hope I was able to do so.