Reply To: Divorce

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#1866608
The little I know
Participant

Certainly.

Obviously this is anecdotal, and not scientific data.

Women seeking to leave a marriage look at the relationship as a trap. The divorce is freeing them, and they experience it as newfound independence. They may feel lonely afterward, and they may have varying degrees of comfort in their new arrangement (with issues of new family structure, children care and support, finances, social roles, changing of other relationships, etc.) And many continue the haggling through courts afterward.

Men view their marriage experience that ended in divorce as a failure, and this affects their self esteem. Their loneliness is more often profound, and they seek other means of compensating for this. They tend to seek remarriage sooner than the women, and for many these efforts are premature. The zivug sheini scene has known challenges, and it is common that divorced men jump into that arena too soon.

From the experiences of others, the lonely Shabbos meals are difficult. Men tend to get invitations more quickly than women, and at least more often get them spontaneously. Women seek them, and may get them less often because they would need to come with their children.

I shared here some observations as generalizations. I am sure anyone here would be able to share an experience that differs. It is not scientific data. This may vary by location and community. Please do not jump on generalizations. Simply reporting what I observed.