Haimy, you wrote it yourself. We should feel revulsion at the sin but not the person. This was Beruria’s answer to Rabbi Meir – and it came out like her (Berachot 10a). I have a feeling that you will have to work alone with you. People who do aveirot never say that they are evil. They always have excuses. People who cheat the government say that other ethnic groups do it. People who cheat on exams and have others do term papers for them say that they need a good grade. People who talk during davening say that shul is the only place where they meet their friends. The list goes on and on.
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