Gratefulblac:
Your test for the learning boy is mostly academic. And that is a dangerous pitfall. I said this before, and it is fact, tragic but true. The best “learners” might not be the best in midos, and are not guaranteed any more than the “not learners” to make a good husband. We might debate why this is true, but the outcome of that debate will not change the candidate being considered for a shidduch.
Next, the motivation to get married without any form of a life plan, such as career, parnosoh, where to live, etc. is highly questionable. I have met some rather unhappy people who admitted they got married because their friends were getting married. Do you eat when someone else is hungry? If someone wants to spend time in kollel learning, then there must be a plan to make sure it can be sustained. Where to live, finances, plans for future… Turning around after a bunch of years of good learning and seeking to enter the working world is a huge challenge. It is most probable that this yungerman has zero training in any manner that would facilitate entry into a career at anything but a low pay starting job – while there is a family at home that needs better parnosoh.
The Gemora (Brachos 36b) tells us the debate between Rabi Yishmael, who stated that one should work and use the rest of his time for learning Torah, and Rabi Shimon bar Yochai who said that one should learn all the time, and their work will be done by others. The Gemora goes on to say that many did as Rabi Yishmael instructed, and succeeded. Many did like Rabi Shimon bar Yochai and failed. Interestingly, this Gemora does not conclude with a psak halacha – who is correct. And the reason is obvious. For one person, Rabi Yishmael’s prescription is appropriate. For another, it is incumbent to follow Rabi Shimon bar Yochai. Giving the wrong prescription is a terrible thing to do. And it seems that the majority of people needed to follow Rabi Yishmael. Many that signed up for Rabi Shimon’s advice failed. Is your “learning boy” the one that Rabi Shimon bar Yochai wants to spend his life learning?