If you feel the shadchan is setting you up with such awful matches, then maybe you need a different shadchan (I’m sure you’ve thought of this already, though). Either way, as long as the girl isn’t “no shaychus,” I feel it’s important to give it a bit of a chance. In many cases I’ve heard of, the dates with people’s basherts aren’t always a “slam dunk” right away. In regards to attraction, my rebbe explained that in most cases, Hashem does you a chessed, and lets your seichel take over when you first start going out with her, so that you don’t automatically want to marry her right away. Don’t expect to be attracted right away. Sometimes it takes time and an emotional connection.
Please understand, Hashem decided who your bashert is, and the fact that you met the girl you’re going out with is hashgachah pratis. Therefore, it’s important you take that girl seriously. In fact, assume it’s your bashert and attempt to build a relationship towards marriage unless proven that she isn’t your bashert. If you see obvious bad middos, feel like you’d rather clean your room than go out with her again (after giving a fair time for the relationship to grow), etc. That’s a likely sign it’s not the one Hashem chose for you. I feel you shouldn’t say “no” to go out again unless it’s a STRONG no. But if you end up enjoying their company (not AMAZING, but rather just feels right), and your hashkafos are in the same ball park, the fact that she doesn’t necessarily match your “Santa list” shouldn’t be a reason to drop her. We should be going out with a strong system of bittachon. See R’ Bentizion Shaifer’s (Rabbi of “The Shmuz”) dating webinar for more details. I highly reccomend it.
Do your hishtadlus, try other shadchanim, but most importantly, understand that Hashem is the true shadchan, and that if He has you go out with a girl, it’s certainly reason to take it seriously.
This is coming from a fellow single bochur, by the way. 🙂
A gmar chasima tovah, and I sincerely wish you the best of hatzlochah!