Flatbush:
Your comment is not just insensitive. It’s plain nasty and not true. The maturity issue is not decided by gender or biological age. There are plenty of young men who are decently mature before 20, and plenty of overgrown babies at 30. Same goes for women. Your labeling boys reshoim is cruel, and unbecoming for a Yid. How dare you!
I am quite skeptical about all these discussions about “shidduch crisis”. yes, there are singles out there. There are too many single men, and there are too many single women. I do not believe that any individual boy or girl is single because of a crisis. I believe that each one has its own reasons and issues, and that all these efforts to solve the problem on a community basis are missing the point. Since there are singles who fall outside the age brackets common to our community today for shidduchim, we do need to have shadchanim ready and able to take on those situations. Some of the candidates may need some counseling or intervention to identify what did not work for them. Others need to access more shadchanim. Each single should be dealt with individually.
This may sound cruel, but there is no such intention. Occasionally, there is a boy or girl who should stay single. No, I don’t wish it on anyone. But some people lack some of the basic traits and skills needed to engage in a marriage and sustain it. Likewise, there are some families that will struggle with finding shidduchim for their children because of how they manage themselves. These are not common situations, but they are also not rare exceptions.
Bottom line – there are no two sides here, and no one is being stubborn. Just ditch the community wide approaches, and address each situation individually. Yes, that is top heavy. But this is what will work.