>> did you just read some opinions and made a decision
a good question – when do we need to ask, and whom? I heard and read enough questions about kaddish that I don’t see my situation as unique or risky. These questions do not seem to depend on the particular person, unless someone is uniquely OCD or disorganized …
I ask more often when the answer might differ depending who is asking.
For example, I asked questions when I had problems with schools. One confirmed that my kid is not a problem, a school is (by referring to his own experiences) and hoped it will work out. Another one encouraged me not to be afraid of doing online (which we were reluctant at that point). When COVID started, I sent info about online resources around, the Rav resent it to many other Rabbonim, vouching for me, so I presume he did not mind.
I also heard a question ask re:COVID – someone’s Rav was not careful about this – how one should relate to this Talmid Chacham? The answer was – you should still show him respect as to Talmid Chacham, but you should not ask him shailos.