IYK:
I want to support the comment to you by Syag. Your experiences were horrible, and everything that can eradicate such atrocities from our community is a chiyuv.
Syag was also correct in noting that ujm speaks from a fanatic position that is inconsistent with the halacha as stated by the Gedolei Haposkim. It is to be noted that there is room for more progress. And I am correct in pointing to the narrative that gets believed by many who are otherwise ignorant. That is similar to the reams of nonsense that permeate the ugly world of politics and the wretched mainstream media.
Allow me to pretend to be a therapist for a moment. This thought might actually help you. The abuse field contains activists. Some are fanatics, others are responsible individuals who contribute their time and effort toward resolving this serious issue. You have the experience of being victimized. There are two directions you can take from here. You can be a victim, or you can be a survivor. The former leaves you with a prevailing sense of rage, negativity about self, and the desire to exact revenge against perpetrators and anyone perceived to support or protect them. These are painful feelings, not bad ones. However, they anchor the victim into the mud, and push deeper until emerging from the “blotteh” is all but impossible (without help). The alternative is to be a survivor. This is the dimension that Syag suggested, to get involved in constructive activity to reduce the problem. You can define the niche in that realm that is most suited for you. And professional help is extremely helpful.
It is not easy for an outsider to dictate to you how to get out of the mud, though professionals trained in trauma work tend to be adept at this. I won’t direct you where to place your energies and efforts. But the ditch of revenge is not a useful place to get stuck. The perps might get what they deserve, but that won’t get you unstuck. I have no problem seeing these murderers of young people’s innocence and stability locked up for life. Our community should be protected from them. But that will not contribute an iota to your happiness or diminishing the negative feelings. Activism does not mandate being a fanatic. Try becoming a survivor. You will recognize the uselessness of feeding garbage to the anti-Semitic media that will accomplish nothing. I, for one, would like to see your efforts be fruitful. Become a survivor.