My first realization that what I was taught was incorrect, came in the form of a dilemma. My dad was claiming that anything he said, I had to do because of Kibbud Av. Failure to do so, would result in gehenim, a new world of suffering. I was being told to do things that I was unable to do. Did that mean that god was going to also be cruel to me because of my incapability to do what my father told me and I would be going to hell? I couldn’t believe that hashem was that cruel. I asked a rav about it. I got an answer. But I still was not protected from the abuses. Rabbis have not protected me. They were fully aware that I was being abused and I told another rabbi as well about what was happening at home long before the psychological abuses were noticed by me. Again, failure to protect the victim, yet claiming to be rabbis. This is why Jewish rabbis are no longer respected in the non Jewish world anymore and we are hated by so many people. We are even turning our own away to become non Jewish because the truth is many are not worthy of the name rabbi.
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