The holy Ohr Hachaim enumerates 10 reasons for what Moshe Rabbenu did wrong. Rashi explains that he should have not hit the rock, but why the first time he was told to hit it?
The Daroshes HaRan explains that it is like disciplining a child who we hit the first time but the second time talk is enough and admonishment of showing the belt, stick is enough.
However, the Malbim differentiates between a tzur, first time, having no water, to a selah, second time, which contains water. The tzur had to be hit to provide from it water. A selah has to be emptied first from water by speaking to it and then hit to gain water from it. When it was hit first, no miracle happened just water in it came out. According to the Rav Aberbenel, Aaron by tbe eigel diminished tbe emunah of the Jews and Moshe Rabbenu by the meraglim, so they needed a means to restore it. So their sin was not the mei meriva but the previous incident.
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