Reply To: Medicating vs Spanking

Avira, I don’t think this was the center of his educational method. Here is a sample. I presume these approaches need to be mastered first before resorting to petching:

The [Brisker] Rav had learned his parenting from his from his experience as a child from a master teacher his father Rav Chaim Soleveitchik, the previous Rov in Brisk. Among the unique parenting goals he had was to teach his child to think, a lost skill in today’s age.

Rav Chaim would take strolls with his son through the streets of brisk and would ask his son to count “how many floors are in this building? How many windows? Can you find the differences between these two similar buildings?” Even studying people’s behavior was part of a walk. “What can you learn about person through their actions? Do they feel safe? Are they confused? Are they secure? Are they local or a guest? He would cut an apple in half and ask his son which half is bigger? What are the differences between the halves?” Following all these questions and answers he would then prod the boy “How did you arrive at your conclusion? And discuss his methodology. If Rav Chaim would sense that the boy could give a better explanation than the one given he would not criticize. Rather with fatherly love encouraged “I know that you can say an even better explanation.” and of course the boy did so. (page 84 till 96-from Rabbi Shimon Mueler’s-biography ’Harav MiBrisk’)

“Ah, they don’t know how many tears I shed when I shokeled(shook) each of the baby carriages. How I was mispallel (prayed) and how may kapitlach Tehillim (psalms) I said for them that they should go in the good way.”

Just as the Brisker Rov had done, Reb Rephoel his son, likewise checked to see where his child went, with whom and when she returned home. This was successful because his daughter saw this care, as a sign of parental love, not as something negative, the way many children in contemporary society would. She recalls: “I didn’t feel like I was in prison. I felt lucky to be in such a home. I felt that’s the right way.” Once a friend came to me and I went with her to accompany her home. My father asked me when I came back: “What did you do on the way? I felt cared for.