Ephraim Becker,
“I’m watching a replay of a conservative live stream of kabbalat shabbat and they sing every tefilah.”
I grew up going to a conservative synagogue, and can tell you that they most definitely do not sing every tefilla. Yes their Friday night services are mostly singing, but of the first six tehillim that are said during kabbalas Shabbos, they take maybe two or three pesukum from them and make repetitive songs out of them, and skip everything else. When I was young I didn’t even understand why there was so much stuff in the prayer book between the songs that made it difficult to find the right pages. Lecha Dodi they may do every other stanza, or the first two and the last. As for Shabbos maariv, the more “traditional” conservative services will not be much different from the Orthodox in terms of what’s sung, while the less traditional will just do to maariv what they did to kabbalas Shabbos. Conservative and reform services are more akin to a musical performance and a sermon preaching the liberal issue du jour than to davening to Hashem, and they think the solution to getting better engagement from the congregants is to add a more gevaldig “bim bam shabbat shalom” song and “mi kamocha” with pizazz to their service. Also, unfortunately, the conservative services are not planned out with the thought that the congregants are going home to eat a Shabbos seuda. Growing up, we ate before going, and I went to bed right after.
“This sounds way better for people with ADHD to say every word of davening and not skip words like I do. Why can’t orthodox cater to people with ADHD?”
By weekday davening at my shul, shacharis lasts about 40 minutes with no leining, and around 50-55 minutes when there is leining. Mincha and maariv are each around 20 minutes. That’s around an hour and a half for davening per day, and that’s without singing. Add singing and the davening would be considerably longer, and would be very difficult for people to do while needing to get to work or bring their kids to school, or help with supper and bedtime. Shabbos morning davenings are longer and incorporate more singing, but it would be a considerable tircha to let the services go past midday when people are hungry, and it’s even possibly halachically problematic. By Friday night there are “ruach/Carlebach” kabbalos Shabbos minyans around that sing a lot more, but many people don’t want to delay their seuda and can’t make an early Shabbos due to work. Perhaps you can start a minyan with more singing, especially for Friday nights. Weekdays would be more challenging.