Conservative sounds better for people with ADHD

Go to a Sefardi shul. They sing EVERYTHING

Say what you can at whatever speed is comfortable for you. Chazal bring down that the Ebeshter can understand teffilos offered at any speed so don’t be intimidated by those around you who seem to believe there is great yichus to be the first to take 3 steps back so that everyone knows they’ve completed the amidah before the shalicah tzibur or anyone else.

Davrning with a minyan is important, but it is an enhancement of davening. Saying the words is crucial, so even if you’re out of sync with the minyan, you’ll be getting the mitzvah of davening, if you want to sing the words to yourself to help focus. You can still answer amen yehei shmei rabbah, kedushah, borchu, unless you’re in the middle of shemoneh esrei. Furthermore, if you start at the same time as the minyan, many poskim hold that you are considered to have davened with a minyan even if you’re way behind or ahead of them. If given a choice between skipping words and being in a minyan, versus saying every word without a minyan, the choice is very clear – saying the words is the literal definition of davening, with only the 1st parshah of shma and the first brocho of shemoneh esrei being crucial to have in mind what the words mean. Everything else is an enhancement, important as it may be.

The overwhelming majority of conservative jews do not pray more than once a week, so it’s not an inconvenience for them to sing everything, since they’ll be out of temple afterwards, back to their car or phone or whatever else they do on shabbos r”l.

For people like yourself who want to say every word every day, three times a day, such a thing is very difficult for a lot of people who want to not spend more than 45 minutes by shacharis etc, but it is correct that sefardim sing almost everything out loud, so that would definitely be an option. If it means being able to daven properly, I’m pretty sure a Rov will tell you you’re allowed to change your nusach to sefardi, since the alternative is skipping words.

Correction; i meant to say earlier that you get the mitzvah of davening with a minyan if you are *behind*, not if you’re *ahead” of everyone… I don’t know how to edit posts on here, so…

You need to go to a Karlin-Stolin minyan. Issue resolved.

Yes, but you scream the ENTIRE davening out loud.

Ephraim Becker,

“I’m watching a replay of a conservative live stream of kabbalat shabbat and they sing every tefilah.”

I grew up going to a conservative synagogue, and can tell you that they most definitely do not sing every tefilla. Yes their Friday night services are mostly singing, but of the first six tehillim that are said during kabbalas Shabbos, they take maybe two or three pesukum from them and make repetitive songs out of them, and skip everything else. When I was young I didn’t even understand why there was so much stuff in the prayer book between the songs that made it difficult to find the right pages. Lecha Dodi they may do every other stanza, or the first two and the last. As for Shabbos maariv, the more “traditional” conservative services will not be much different from the Orthodox in terms of what’s sung, while the less traditional will just do to maariv what they did to kabbalas Shabbos. Conservative and reform services are more akin to a musical performance and a sermon preaching the liberal issue du jour than to davening to Hashem, and they think the solution to getting better engagement from the congregants is to add a more gevaldig “bim bam shabbat shalom” song and “mi kamocha” with pizazz to their service. Also, unfortunately, the conservative services are not planned out with the thought that the congregants are going home to eat a Shabbos seuda. Growing up, we ate before going, and I went to bed right after.

“This sounds way better for people with ADHD to say every word of davening and not skip words like I do. Why can’t orthodox cater to people with ADHD?”

By weekday davening at my shul, shacharis lasts about 40 minutes with no leining, and around 50-55 minutes when there is leining. Mincha and maariv are each around 20 minutes. That’s around an hour and a half for davening per day, and that’s without singing. Add singing and the davening would be considerably longer, and would be very difficult for people to do while needing to get to work or bring their kids to school, or help with supper and bedtime. Shabbos morning davenings are longer and incorporate more singing, but it would be a considerable tircha to let the services go past midday when people are hungry, and it’s even possibly halachically problematic. By Friday night there are “ruach/Carlebach” kabbalos Shabbos minyans around that sing a lot more, but many people don’t want to delay their seuda and can’t make an early Shabbos due to work. Perhaps you can start a minyan with more singing, especially for Friday nights. Weekdays would be more challenging.

Can’t they have specialized minyanim at the dayhab?

Grew up Conservative and w/ADHD and have several things to say about this:
1. We didn’t sing everything but a lot was sung
2. Because there was so much singing it ran super long and I could never sit through all of shul. When I became Orthodox I was suprised to find that I could actually sit through all of shul. Different strokes for different (ADHD) folks, I guess.