IYK,
It’s obvious to me you long for Moshiach, whether you fully realize this or not. It may be that you feel others don’t have the imagination or put enough energy into anticipating how wonderful things will be, b’ezras Hashem, may he come quickly. This could be, and I identify with some of your utopian sensibilities. On the other hand, the Torah is pretty clear that this is a world of a prescribed balance. And this online community consists generally of people who accept our mesorah and strive to live up to its ideals. As someone else may have alluded to, if we identify ourselves as traditional Jews we are essentially signing up to be corrected if something we say might be off. And hopefully we’d welcome this and have the strength to open our minds when we are clearly wrong. People can be too quick to judge, yes. Sometimes they are wrong and sometimes they are right but need to keep quiet. Maybe the one saying something isn’t doing it out of love. Or sometimes it’s a matter of timing. I know someone who struggles with halacha but “keeping halacha” isn’t really the problem. The problems are based in childhood trauma and exacerbated by drugs and other struggles.
Mitzvos and halacha are the natural expressions and consequences of a healty Jew. Avraham avinu baked matzos even before he was given the mitzvah of Pesach. There are numerous other examples.
As for looking “beyond” halacha for happiness and purpose in our curent existence, the luring meaningfulness is illusory and unbridled expressions of love in this world can actually destroy the world, chas v’shalom. But we can long for Hashem’s yeshuos and a perfect world, as you no doubt have the desire to do. May we all develop our eyes to look for Hashem’s yeshuos, and the strength and courage to try to follow Hashem’s will so that our tefilos and mitzvos are natural expressions of who we are-
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