I think you are guys are making a legitimate point that you do not want to receive from the regime you do not respect and do not want to feel obliged. I am not 100% sure that the whole community lives up to the good standard you are using, but the principles sound reasonable.
Maybe the best way to advocate for your way of life – and get respect from those who do not trust your approach, would be to fully form your own community without relying on Zionists. Purchase a piece of land from PA or Hamas, or maybe even Syrians, Egyptians, or Jordanians – a lot of these areas might be Eretz Isroel – and form your own tax system, roads, defense forces, or hire someone. If this experiment works, then it will be great Kiddush Hashem, and others will learn from it.