Eishes, > i am not against petch, but i am against my mothers petch and discipline
Rambam writen in Deos that one should bend the other way trying to fix a middah. When you are affected by a bad middah, it is natural to you to try just to “decrease’ it without fully feeling the wrong of this approach. As you are already aware of the problems you had, it is imperative to you to err the other way towards chesed.
quoting from R Twersky on a topic of one abusive parent:
proper discipline is NOT abusive (his capitalization).. Ramabam (Hil Ishus 16) husband and wife must address each other respectfully. A person who violates this halakha cannot eb considered frum any more than .. any other halakhah. .. Abusive behavior of any kind – verbal, emotional, physical, .. shold be nipped in the bud… promptly seek counseling on how to .. arrestiit and prevent from progressing