AviraDeArah, you are equating two unequal things. To take your ideas very seriously, to the extent that you’ll want to convince everyone else of its worth is not at all the same as saying that you’re better than everyone.
If you say that the בעל שם טוב was Zoche to a special illuminating path, and that your Rebbes have perfected it, and that now you’d want to spread that idea to all עובדי השם, is that really the same as being stuck up and proud?
You can use that to make yourself proud, if you are so inclined, but you can also go about it without doing so.
As I said earlier, the issue is mostly about semantics. The underlying ideas are not that unique. Even the Moshiach idea is not completely unique. When you revere a Tzaddik, and see him as someone who, if given the chance, would set everything right, then you <u>think to yourself</u> that he would be a perfect candidate for Moshiach. This has its basis in the Gemara (נחמן שמו, ינון שמו). Even Tosafos used משי”ח as a acronym for one בעל תוספות, and it obviously wasn’t a mistake.
Now, Lubavitch took this and ran with it, which raised the collective eyebrow. Where, in other places, individuals would entertain a certain thought, in Lubavitch it was broadcasted and expounded upon. This is likely due to their tendency to explain and spell out many other things.
Bottom line, it’s the terminology, enthusiasm, emphasis and style which irks people. If you can see past that, you can find some common ground.