Syag, thanks for your questions! I think I already answered above – I care more for Torah learning than other endeavors.
But, of course, while Gemora says that work/learn balance people are generally more successful, there are other nisayonos in life as you mention! If I am talking to friends, I would surely suggest them not studying towards non-productive degrees, and doing PhD at a faster rate and part-time. Not bragging, but I got PhD without being on welfare, first having a fellowship and then getting a job, and my wife was able to stay with the kids as long as she wanted (which she did). I surely missed out on some exciting opportunities that required long work hours for future reward.
But, anyway if there are some people here getting PhD in gender studies while staying on welfare and neglecting kids, please reveal yourself so that we can straighten you out!