R Twersky’s father used to tell the following story: a chasidishe Rav came to Berlin with a visit. Before making kiddush, he said the following: making kiddush in our shtetl is not such a big deal – you are not announcing anything that people don’t know.. Here, in Berlin, it is very special to say kiddush and announce it to the people who do not hold by it.
Then, the Rav suddenly stopped, paused for several minutes, and then proceeded with the kiddush.
He explained after that – after saying these words, I suddenly lost my connection with HKBH and understood that this was because of the insulting words I used towards the Yidden of Berlin. So, I spent several minutes doing teshuva and thinking good things about them until I felt my connection is restored and then I was able to proceed with the kiddush.
So, if you are prone to similar pronouncements and you don’t feel losing anything – I would worry that you do not have appropriate sensitivity to feel diminishing of the connection, and that might prevent you from doing teshuva. Maybe this story will help as a substitute.