Syag, it’s categorically forbidden to marry a woman that a man feels put off by physically; no matter how mature and nurturing he is.
this was never the discussion
You have had lots of damning things to say about single women but you seem to have lots of excusals for men. If a man shows up at a date and the woman does not “match” her picture, he is welcome to be disappointed. If he’s shattered by it, then he isn’t worth much.
After his initial disappointment, he has 2 hours to get to know the woman, find out her personality, learn her strengths. If all he can think about is that she doesn’t match her picture than he is not ready for marriage. Period.
20 years ago we went out without social media. The person called you and said, “she’s beautiful, really wonderful personality, sweet as sugar” etc. Or the male equivilant. and guess what? They usually weren’t. But if you were a grown up mature adult ready to marry, you spent the next hours learning who was sitting in front of you and how beautiful, sweet and wonderful they were. Or weren’t. If your male contemporaries can’t manage that, they are far from capable of having an actual grown up relationship.