whitecar, right, this is a more reasonable claim. But, then, you should not be upset so much at her – a black hat seems to be a self-imposed symbol of rejecting any changes to the society that happened after Jews and non-Jews were wearing similar (often cheaper) hats & clothes 300 years ago.
That would exclude Amelia/Bedelia. You are free to disprove this assumption, but she is just responding to the message. Of course, it is easy to avid being sterotyped by going to an even older tradition of Rambam – I do not mean a turban or a kefiya, but nice and clean clothes, not too rich, not too poor, not attracting attention (Deot 5:9)