Cs, your extrapolation from an already untenable notion to the idea that gehinnom… makes a person elevated more than gan eden…. there’s a lot to unpack here, and i think mental health tools would be beneficial. Derech eretz kadma letorah; being a healthy person is a prerequisite for understanding Torah. I believe this is beyond my abilities. I do wish you well.
A few things to think about – if you don’t know the plain meaning of kabed es Avicha, the chasidishe level of understanding becomes irrelevant.
So too, i want you to think about the below concepts from a simple, rambam/mesilas yeshorim hashkofa perspective, and perhaps something will break through.
What is gan eden?
What is the purpose of this world?
(The rambam and mesilas yeshorim do not discuss dirah betachtonim because it is an advanced concept, and there is a fundamental idea that supercedes it, since Hashem needs nothing, He clearly had an overarching principle in creating the world – read the first perek of mesilas yeshorim)
What is gehinnom and what is its suffering?
The answers are all very available. I absolutely love chasidishe Torah, but these…. musings, are clear evidence that one needs a strong background in the nigleh of hashkofa before approaching the hallowed halls of chasidishe Torah.