And like I said, that’s inaccurate. The person’s values are always first to those who care about gezh.
Then, some see it as a priority to marry those from similar backgrounds. Many don’t. Those who are more modern don’t really care at all. There are even marriages in Chabad where the shliach became mechutanim with the mekurav (I think the first was in Italy.) sholom Mordechai rubashkin is gezh- his aishes chayil is a bt. Choni milecki is a son of bts- he married gezh. These are well known names you may have heard but there are plenty plenty more. People would have a hard time marrying ffb if they are bt, which is completely understandable. But children of bts can go either way. Some families would prefer to marry gezh and some don’t care. As a child of bts I highly respect some gezh families, some who would consider children of bts and some who wouldn’t. These families are inclusive of bts in every way, and there is absolutely no difference or hierarchy in school, teaching positions etc, but they would prefer their kids marry similar background which I totally understand. A bt home cannot compare to a sincere gezh home that has been Chassidim for generations. Bts have their own maalos which gezh don’t, and some families are open to it and some not. In either case, preferring your child marry a similar family background is not shallow, considering there are authentic reasons behind it. And definitely not comparable to a guy putting physical attributes at the top of his list.
But other