There is a hiluk that many in shidduch business do not seem to pay attention to – earning parnasa v. doing something in your life. There are lots of occupations where the only outcome seems to be financial v. others where one heals people, builds things, invents, teaches.
It is a big difference whether a husband (or wife also) spends 6-10 hours a day focused just on “parnasah” and his real “life” is in the remaining several hours between parnasah and shloffen that he needs to subdivide between learning, wife, children, YWN OR he spends whole day being productive and performing mitzvos. Of course, attitude may change occupation between these 2 categories. Probably R Miller, not sure, suggests for a woman to think that she is not just washing dishes, but works on sholom bayis. Same thing, a doctor may be thinking about how much he charges for the surgery or how he is saving a human life. Same for a melamed …