Why dont you ask that question about the Arabs?
It’s the same thing!
The reason Charedim don’t join the army has NOTHING to do with learning. Even those who are NOT learning do NOT join the IDF.
It is because they do NOT support the state of Israel. Period. Just like the Arabs.
The learning is an excuse. Everyone knows that.
Not everyone jewish (even those who live in israel!), need to support the zionist military.
They believe the jews would be better off without zionist harassment and antagonism.
Having said that, I do feel pain for your zionist family members who are suffering. It really breaks my heart that so many people in that region are suffering so much.