“First I’ll buy the cotton-picking machine that was invented more than 100 years ago by the yankees.“
מה שקנה עבד קנה רבו so your money isnt yours and your master would probably rather have your $100 and have you pick cotton
“Second, I’ll request you share your last pillow with me al pi halocha.“
That’s only if he was your master, which I don’t think your ancestors were slaves of Joe’s