I feel bad for you but this is not only in Lakewood. I’m assuming you are a young kollel wife so you are young and probably idealistic. This is reality: In life, you will find some bosses like yours. They might be in Lakewood or in Brooklyn or in Manhattan. They are people who might be nice to socialize with but not to work for. On the other hand, you will find some bosses in Lakewood, Brooklyn or Manhattan or any other place who are nice people who realize that we are in this world to do what will give the Rebonon Shel Olam nachas. You don’t like this job? Find another one and ask about the boss before you take the job. My husband has had both kinds of bosses. When he was looking for a job this time, he spent time asking about the boss just as one would ask about a shiduch (but we didn’t care about the tablecloths). He is now very happy with his job.
Good luck.