I’ll go one better: My former landlords had given my name as a reference (how I HATE that word – this is a shidduch, not a job application) for their daughter, to the prospective boy’s family. I received a phone call from the mother of the boy and proceeded to tell her what a lovely, beautiful young woman she is, with impeccable middos. All in all, a very bacheint prospect. The mother then began questioning me about the parents – fine, wonderful people. What did the father do, what did the mother do. By the time she got to what do the sister-in-law do, I was a little perturbed. What business is it of hers, and how on earth would I know that? She wanted to know if the family is “calm,” which they truly are, but did she think I would tell her otherwise (and I had just gotten finished telling her what lovely balabatish people they are, anyway).
Here’s the kicker (and I kind of hope the woman is reading this, because she needs to see in print how she sounded to me): After spending almost half an hour (due to her numerous questions) telling this woman what a wonderful shidduch this girl would be for ANYONE’s son, much less her own, she says the following. ” Well all that is well and good, but I hear the girl is very short (true, she is barely 5′), and I don’t want short grandchildren, so I’m not going to say yes!” I was blown away. You waste my time to ask about someone, when all along you have no intention of a follow-through??????? I quietly informed the woman that the height of a child is in the Aibishter’s hands,two tall people with recessive short genes can potentially produce ALL short children, and if that was what she was most concerned about (and not the wonderful middos, beautiful and charming person inside and out that the girl is), then she should probably look elsewhere, because the girl was not getting any taller any time soon. What I really wanted to say was that the girl deserved a much more seicheldig and less shallow mother-in-law than that. But I didn’t. I just wished her hatzlacha in finding the right one for her son.