I’d like to go back to the origianl poster’s questions which was was the problem with the MT.
IMHO, the answer is, nothing really. But the more important question is “What’s good about the MT?” Or put differently, Where’s the “mitzvah” in the MT?
Yes I know, it is a minhag that has been practiced by kedoshim and tzadikim. I don’t question that. But at the risk of enflaming the “minhagim are more important than halachos” crowd, I respectfully say, “No they aren’t.” It’s a minhag. If chazal didn’t see any diference in distinguishing between minhagim and halachos, they wouldn’t have bothered identifying the minhagim.
In this generation we have gotten so caught up in our fervor to preserve minhagim, that it has often come at the grave cost of the very real and tangible issurim d’oiraisah of “Lashon Horah and Ono’as Devarim”. As we approach Tisha Baav” Let’s take a moment to ask ourselves how many times we have gotten ourselves and others upset over matters of minhagim. Are they really worth such anguish?
I would propose the following: Unless you happen to be a noted Rebbe, where having a MT is a forgone conclusion, how about trying this novel apporach. Ask the chosson and Kallah how they feel about it. If either one is the slightest bit uncomfortable with the idea, then ditch it. I’m pretty sure the schar you will get for being msameach chosson v’jkallah will outwaeight the lost “mitzvah” of the MT. And if they both like the idea, they go knock yourselves out.
May we be zocheh to the geulah shleima bimheira.
Yes. Minhagim