in Chovos Halevavos
in the shaar cheshbon hanefesh
he lists 30 attitudes and ideas to consider and contemplate
learn and THINK about one of them each day
start with number one on Rosh Chodesh and learn (meditate on really) one a day
start again the next Rosh Chodesh
you will learn each one 12 times a year
they are powerful ideas
use the english translation if you want, i do, i find his loshon very difficult to grasp clearly
BONUS, this is very, very nice
do this seder before Shachris, (or other times) when no one else is in the Bais Medresh, when it is dark
leave all the lights off
find a secluded corner
*use a candle to learn by*
whenever you feel inspired during the seder, talk to the RibbnoShelOlam, cry to him, real tears if you can, dry tears if you cant.
please try this, it’s worth some sacrifice.
may you have Siyata dShmaya