zevi8: frum jews dont look down at people who dont cover their hair, wear jeans etc… they try to mekarev them (just look at oorah etc.)however they look down at people who justify all the sins they commit by denying dass torah, and denying the concept tht there are halochos derabanan which are like deoraisa (veosisa kechol asher yorucha.
ii think the reason you are upset is that the torah and her folowers worldview does not fit yours. therefore you negate all those concepts which are not in your worldview as not being torah. im sorry but the torah has been here a long time and in every generation there have been people who have tryed to do the same thing you are doing. starting off from korach untill the modern day reformers. unfortunatley those on the fringes of othodoxcy are doing the same thing, fooling themselves.
i once had the zechus of hearing R’ Yasskov Galinsky speak. he said in his speach that everthing can be foun in the torah. for example a man owes another man money. when the lender comes for payment the borrower tells him “thou shalleth not opress him” and the lender retorts “a wicked man dosent pay”. they are both right but wrong.. the verse “thou shalleth not opress him” is for the lender, however “a wicked man dosent pay”. is for the borrower…think about that …. and remember to be honest with yourself and G-d.