Reply To: Tznius: a woman’s issue

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tznius like many other mitzvos has been commercialized. Tznius is one of the most beautiful mitzvos a woman has (and men)it is a statement that I am not just a body I am a neshama, and by looking at me you can’t not even begin to know me. Tznius is privacy. Not attracting men is an out come, but if a woman, or girl has no sense of what privacy and dignity of the soul means how can she be tzanua? We need to eduacate women to appreciate their neshamos- this will bring them to tznius. I highly recommend a book by Gila Manelson (not at all the typical BY ideas) “outside inside”- for a fresh and refreshing look at tznius. As sy sym used to say an educated consumer is the best customer- let’s try that approach to tznius, educate our daughters to appreciate the hashkafa and they will come to tznius. I have had much posotive experience with this method. (alomost 15 years bli ayin hara) I never lecture about inches etc. . .

once I had a student who was always wearing the “wrong ” socks 9ie socks which the school didn’t allow) I bought her a bunch of permitted socks and wrapped them in nice paper and each day left a different pair in her locker with a funny note. Problem solved with out a word of tochacha. A year later we had a follow up discussion whith no anger and today this girl is married with children of her own and she always wears socks and is very tzanua. What would have happened if I would have punished her? yelled ? lectured? Rabbi Akiva said that in his generation he was doubtful if there was anyone who could give proper tochacha. and what about our generation?

Let’s educate and set a good loving example.