Think Big,
Perhaps the more correct term for what you are describing is minhugim or customs of tznius, rather than “gray areas.” I think gray areas are understood to mean areas that the law is not entirely explicitly clear and requires additional input from our Rabbonim.
But even such areas that you are referring to (other than black & white halacha), the Rabbonim HAVE always provided guidance (including direct and specific) for. This is both applicable to addressing the local customs of tznius, as well as issues which you describe as “opinion” oriented, such as what is flashy. Yes, minhug hamokem does differ sometimes between communities, but the Rabbonim in each community do have a right and indeed a duty to define the specifics for their kehilos. So I think this thought that only women should be addressing such specifics stems from a 21st (or 20th) century approach towards gender, propogated by the secular world.
As far as dressing in style, I don’t have an issue per se with what you said, but do seriously question the notion that the eye-catching “styles” (more appropriately called styleless and bane) fresh off the Paris runway may be perfectly fine A YEAR OR SO later after the next round of trash “styles” is unleashed. They become no less eye-catcing with time, especially amongst our holy people who are not (or certainly should not be) prone to this pritzus a year, two years or even three years thereon. What is wrong, pray tell, with “last years” (gasp) styles? (Last year as an analogy, not necessarily literal.) Yes women are not men, but I’ve been wearing the same general “style” suit for the last 20 years.
Out of curiosity, could you share your personal thoughts on jean skirts? I don’t even mean from a tznius perspective, but rather from a Bas Yisroel’s kavod atmi perspective. If a Ben Torah wore jeans, I don’t think there is a “tznius” issue per se. But somehow I think you’ll agree with me that jeans is inappropriate for a Ben Torah. Personally I don’t see a difference in this regard between a Ben Torah and a Bas Yisroel. (And again not even broaching any tznius aspect to it.)
And finally (for the final time?) out of pure curiosity and on a completely unrelated note (and no offence intended!) You have mentioned previously that you have no computer at home and are unfamiliar with general internet facilities, yet you seemingly display a rather sophisticated knowledge on rather arcane matters such as internet-specific acronyms (i.e. imho) and even a knowledge of the going-ons in the YW archives (despite your short presence only made available in thanks to your vacation.) No imputations intended (really), but I’d love an explanation! (Not that you owe one 🙂