mariner you misread what I wrote, I do not blame anyone. I suggest that we do not put “weight” as a serious factor in considering a shidduch because it changes. I also believe that one should not marry money because of the same reason, a person can lose their wealth easily. The only thing that stays and rarely changes is middos. An angry bitter person doesn’t suddenly become sweet and easygoing, and a miser does not suddenly become generous because of marriage. However a person can definitely lose or gain weight, which is why I added the part about my sister in law and my friends. Weight will definitely change during a pregnancy and nursing-does this mean that a husband starts loathing his wife at this time as decried by 132? Chas veshalom! Amazing girls are considered the wrong size-by (ver vais?) and are not being redt. They are not given a chance to let their personality impress because they happen to be the wrong “in” size. From the first post on this thread I understood that there are those not willing to redt the shidduch altogether because there is the possibility that they will offend the other party because of body weight, dress size, BMI, etc..I feel this should be reconsidered by those who redt these shidduchim and by those who reject a beautiful bas Yisroel based on her dress size or a boy based on his suit size. I am a mother to both boys and girls, BH, and I am speaking from a parent’s point of view which may differ from those who are younger and unmarried. My contemporaries have witnessed too many picture perfect young people marry and divorce ( many within shana rishona). Therefore, most of my friends prioritize good middos and yiras shaomayim as the number one factor in a shidduch. We allow the meeting to happen and the couple are either attracted to each other or not. But we don’t outright reject someone for their weight if their middos are excellent. I guess you could say that sterling middos carry more weight in our circles:}
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