Joseph (or those that agree with him),
how do you understand this Halacha? do you not consider these things abuse? i hope you do.
i think the answer is that it was written in a time when these forms of abuse werent considerd wrong and were common in the general society were they were written, and that influenced the halacha that was written in that time. (i also think the same would apply to statements by rishonim and achronim about woman not having the mental capacity to learn).
you on the other hand hold that this view is bordering on heresy. can you explain yourself?