BS”D
We are not “anything goes”.
We are open to all.
Nevertheless, we maintain our own standards – but with us not everyone has to adopt our standards because we recognize that not everyone is ready, willing or able to “become frum” given how deep we are in golus.
So, we are happy to get even the Jew who is intermarried to make a brocho on the nerois Chanuka; we don’t condone his having intermarried and we do the utmost to make sure any of his unmarried brothers and sisters don’t make the same tragic mistake, but we know that Torah does not say that because you failed in one area, you are therefore beneath keeping any other of the 613 mitzvos. Otherwise, there would be no minyan in Otisville because ganovim would be potur from tefillah 🙂 🙂 :).
There is a HUGE difference between that and “anything goes”.
I am below 60 and so are my friends.
We are not exactly in a city that is teeming with frum Yidden, and we deal with Yidden on all levels day in and day out. Our standards are no different than those of the generation before us living in Crown Heights, or Kfar Chabad, or Los Angeles. If anything some of us are even more careful than we would be if we lived in a bigger community, because while we are there for all, we want to make sure that we remain who we are in a foreign environment.
In fact, younger frum people of all stripes have higher standards than the old generation because we were born in the US or EY and did not have the struggles of the refugee generation or the first American generation.
As for the schools, the quandary is that they need funds to run, and sometimes any school has to bend or omit services because the money just isn’t there or won’t come. But on the other hand, there is such a huge choice out there that every child must fit into some school even if in some cases parents have to make the hard decision to let their children board away from town to get not only the right school, but a different atmosphere that may be best for their growth.