Rebetzin, I have tremendous respect for chareidi people. I also have tremendous respect for NON-chareidi people who are shomrei Torah U’Mitzvos, even when their derech is unlike yours. If I understand you correctly, I believe that you are mistaken in your assertion that “black hatters” respect the MO, but not vice versa. Clearly, the opposite is the usual case. I wish everyone I see a good Shabbos when I walk to and from Shul. The “frummer-looking” the person, the less likely she is to even look at me, much less to answer me, or be makdim b’sholom. And the kids are the same as the parents.
What I do NOT accept as being a good thing, is the notion that there is only one true path to Hashem, and that the path is only known to chareidi Jews in black hats. There are all types of frum Jews and as long as they are following the halacha (and not necessarily the chumros that are claiming to be the Halacha these days), then they are fulfilling ratzon Hashem. It is typical of the arrogance some black hatters exhibit, that they do not accept any shitta but their own. It is fine for them, but it is real gaivah to think that one is the only person in possession of the knowledge of what Hashem REALLY wants of us. I can gauarantee you for a fact that our Avos did not wear black Borsalino hats, and they were on a higher madreiga than any of us will ever be. They were also very accepting of people and through that acceptance were koneh nefashos for Hashem.