illini07,
Thanks for clarifying my points better than I could myself. To elaborate on your point (2) above, social host laws hold adults liable if they serve alcohol to a minor (that is, someone under the legal drinking age of 21) who injures himself or someone else as a result. These laws exist in some communities in NY and NJ.
To my knowledge social host laws contain no exemption for alcohol consumed for religious purposes. It seems to me that social host laws wouldn’t affect consumption of alcohol for kiddush, since a minimal amount of alcohol is comsumed. However, if one serves a minor sufficient alcohol so that he is “drunk and falling asleep from drunkenness” then if any injury results c”v social host laws would likely apply.